Ah – The Single Life. (Pros and Cons. Mainly the Pros…)

Ah – The Single Life. 

I have maybe TWO -or three- words of advice on potentially dating someone you’ve liked/loved for about 7-8 years, or well, anybody really.

1. Don’t involve your friends. Really.
     a) Why? Dude… Friends just… Wow. Yeah, some -if not most- should be really supportive. Unless you’re like me, then they’re really supportive, telling you to hurry up and ask them to dinner or whatever. When you FINALLY do -for me, after 8 long years- they’re happy at first. Then, they get jealous. They tell you they’re happy, but you can hardly get a word out of them anymore. Then it affects you, because you become irritated at them, and everybody else can feel your irritation, and it becomes a freakin-cycle. 

       b.) This goes for BOTH sexes – Male and Female. 

 

2. If it sounds too GOOD to be True? – Sadly, it probably is. 
      a.) But, don’t take my word for it! (Thank you, Geordi LaForge. Oi, wait, sorry, Levar Burton…) 

       b.) So, you’ve liked this girl, guy, alien, whatever. You’re on the first go-out, or whatever it’s called these days. You think they’re the type to listen to this certain type of music (especially types around their ages, or style. For mine, I thought; REO Speedwagon, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC…) and then you find out it’s the COMPLETE opposite of what even looks like their style or their age, and what you originally thought. And the whole movie/show thing. Hobbies and Interests are usually equal, if not at least a little balanced out. BUT – when you hear that there’s “no way you could get me to…” or “Persuade me to…” Well, the door of compromise really does seem like it’s closed, doesn’t it?

 

Fact is – a Relationship or Friendship of any kind? It requires Compromise. If there is none there, – Move on (and don’t forget to ‘Live Long and Prosper’)….

 

3. If you don’t feel it, Move on.
     a.) Like I’ve said, I have felt this strong emotion/feeling for this beautiful man. Yes – he is still so beautiful to me. His soul, firstly. I’m not highly spiritual (though I believe in God, Heaven, Hell…etc), but I have a way with emotions/feelings/etc. He’s beautiful, and well, I still have a feeling for him. I’d still like to be friends. But, I had to realize (and maybe it was a good thing), that there wasn’t any compromise. We both are seemingly at two diferent stages in our lives. 

I’m ONLY 21. I haven’t lived yet, damn-it. I have a shite ton left to do. A HUGE-ass bucketlist to finish before I’m like 30. Then I’ll work on my 2nd List then…. But, I thought I was Oh-So-Willing to give everything up that I myself wanted, settle down, have a kid or two of my own.

But I’m not. 

I wanna flight-tend, bar-tend, Perform, Act (yes, I know, almost the same), learn new tricks like play the piano or guitar. Sing. Do what I want, when I want, without having to ask. I wanna see Pompeii, Stonehenge, entirety of London, Europe, Ireland, Scotland, England (yes yes, I know), Germany, Canada, and Hell – the REST of the United States and maybe twice! 

So much to do, so little time.

It IS hard for me though. Seven – eight – years of this particular feeling is not going to go away so quick. Not when this person has made me so giddy and smiley and laughy. All that creep-tastic jazz. 

But, I gotta do what’s right for me. Find someone willing to live with MY choices and me theirs, and share each others’ dreams. 

 

I wish I could say the right things to myself. But I can’t. I just know what I CAN do.

Xo,

Ellie Mae.

 

PS: By the way, I’m open to any conversation of agreement, disagreement, or commegreement (Comment, basically), whether harsh, good, or just plain Okay. 🙂

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One thought on “Ah – The Single Life. (Pros and Cons. Mainly the Pros…)

  1. I fucking love this. I love how you put the Star Trek references in there. That’s just so you. I know exactly what you’re going through, though. I’m afraid that if I meet someone I really like or “The Man” and we both know who that is, he’ll turn out to be not at all what or who I was thinking he was. I’m afraid to put myself out there. Yes, I want people to see ME, the real me, not the person who has a past that they’re ashamed of, and who wants to curl up into a ball at every awkward situation. I’m terrified of all of it, but you, my dear friend, give me hope. Thanks.

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