The Terrifying yet Amazing Emotions of a First Relationship <3

Hello again. 🙂

 

Sorry for my really long absence. College stuff started to pile up and everything, lack of sleep, and then I started the Super Shred which made me want to sleep forever as well. And then there’s been the times I’ve been going on dates with this amazing person.

 

Since this is very public, I won’t release too much information about him. But, let’s just say, he really is an amazing person, and he brings a silly smile to my face all the time. I wish I would have met him earlier and had the chance to get to know him then. BUT, everything happens at certain times for a reason.

 

Anyways, this person was the one I had mentioned back on Veteran’s Day 2013 in the post: https://elliemae21.wordpress.com/2013/11/11/why-dating-may-not-seem-such-a-bad-idea-after-all/

 

No, we’re not really ‘dating’ yet. But if he asked me, I’d say yes in a heartbeat. It became official April 6th, 2014. 🙂

 

There’s just something about him (without running the risk of sounding really clingy and desperate) that makes everything seem so much better. Whenever I get a text on my phone from him, it makes me smile like one of those silly schoolgirls. Whenever I get to see him, life sorta seems to disappear and there’s only the now and present.

 

He makes me feel worthy to be liked and possibly more, that I’m only just being too hard on myself, when honestly, I would just feel ashamed of myself because I’ve never been that worthy person. I went through all my life being told by other people that I would never fit in, never be good enough. My mother tried to convince me otherwise, but it’s hard to realize that.

 

This person could be going out with someone so much better than I, and yet here we are, going out together.

Happiness aside, I’m not really sure how to explain it, really. This person listens to what I have to say, and I listen to what he has to say. He opens the doors for me. He’s so respectful that sometimes I have to remind myself that there are still guys out there that care. It’s almost really foreign to me. LOL.

 

We have a bit of interests and a bit of differences. In all honesty, I feel it balances everything out, and I like that. When we’re talking to each other, there’s so much eye contact, and especially since I really like his eyes, I really enjoy that.

 

So, I realize I’m being really cheesy. I can’t help it. Amazing person = Amazing thoughts. I’m always afraid and I’ll think to myself ‘what if I mess all of this up?’ ‘what if I say the wrong thing, offend him or come off too forward?’

 

I mean, my mouth has no stupid filter when I’m really comfortable around somebody (meaning I’m totally random and not shy). Seriously. And it’s like, when I’m around him, I’m very comfortable (yet sorta still on my toes) and I just say things that I want. No, I don’t curse or anything like that around him, by not having a filter, I just, sometimes I think that I might just overshare something one day and this all would blow up in my face.

 

Obviously, when you’re going out with somebody and they’re trying to get to know you, they want you to be yourself and not someone you make up. But, still, there’s… boundaries to that.

 

Personally, I have boundaries, but at the same time, I don’t.

 

Honestly, I’m a little nervous about posting this, in case he actually reads my blog and thinks this is entirely dumb. I have a feeling that he won’t, but whatever. A part of me will always feel cautious around anybody.

 

I have so much more to say about this awesome person, but I won’t give away everything just yet. 😉

 

Until next time.

XO,

Ellie

Quickies.

Quick update/announcement. 

I’m still here y’all. Been super SUPER busy with college and other things that I have updates for. 🙂 

I’m in Indiana for Spring Break at the moment, though later on today once I’m done with college homework, I’ll be back online to update you all on things. I may have to be really vague about what’s been going on, but it’s amazing, nonetheless. 

 

Love Always,

XO,

Ellie

Why Dating May Not Seem Such a Bad Idea….After all.

First of All – 

Happy Veteran’s Day to all of those who have served, who are still currently serving and those who have given their lives up so that we may be free.

Have YOU Thanked a Veteran today?

Anyways – I spent the morning walking in the parade in town, handing out flags to the public. Yes, it was so cold, my fingers froze and my nose ran. But it was just a really great experience to be walking among the men and women who have served, feeling like I was doing my own duty.

I got to meet one of my cousins I’ve never even met on my Dad’s side of the family. Great guy. Then, there was another guy who’s name I’ve sadly forgotten. And then there’s this other guy. A few years older than me. Really… cute? If I say adorable, I dunno how a guy would react to that. Anyways. He seems really great. He’s single as well.

I mean – don’t get me wrong. I’m not in a huge rush to get into a relationship and get serious. But if it happens, it happens. I mean, I still plan on living my life how I want, living my dreams. I’d just like to be with someone who won’t purposely try to hold me back, tell me I can’t do something. I want someone who can/will tell me that I can do anything, if I put my mind and heart into it. I’d like support (not necessarily financial, but like a “you can do it!” kind of support) in things I’d like to do, just like I want to be able to support them in their own dreams. Be their Team cheer-person. Cheesy, I know.

I mean, I don’t want some poor example of the men in some of my distant family who don’t know how to treat any female with respect, who hinders others from their goals, and are controlling. I don’t want an alcoholic. My Father is/was one. I don’t want that same experience. I deserve better.

Someone who know’s how to have fun without thinking he’s the best thing out there. Someone who wouldn’t cheat on me, or lie to me. I’d rather you tell me the truth about everything, than be lied to. If I was in a relationship or marriage, and the other person didn’t love me anymore, then I want to be told. Not lied to, or cheated on.

I don’t want to be controlled. I wanna be talked to like a normal human being. Because I am.

But anyways. Maybe I’ll go by the guys’ work and I dunno, give him my numbers. Take a shot. Won’t know unless I try.

 

XO.
Ellie-Mae