The Terrifying yet Amazing Emotions of a First Relationship <3

Hello again. 🙂

 

Sorry for my really long absence. College stuff started to pile up and everything, lack of sleep, and then I started the Super Shred which made me want to sleep forever as well. And then there’s been the times I’ve been going on dates with this amazing person.

 

Since this is very public, I won’t release too much information about him. But, let’s just say, he really is an amazing person, and he brings a silly smile to my face all the time. I wish I would have met him earlier and had the chance to get to know him then. BUT, everything happens at certain times for a reason.

 

Anyways, this person was the one I had mentioned back on Veteran’s Day 2013 in the post: https://elliemae21.wordpress.com/2013/11/11/why-dating-may-not-seem-such-a-bad-idea-after-all/

 

No, we’re not really ‘dating’ yet. But if he asked me, I’d say yes in a heartbeat. It became official April 6th, 2014. 🙂

 

There’s just something about him (without running the risk of sounding really clingy and desperate) that makes everything seem so much better. Whenever I get a text on my phone from him, it makes me smile like one of those silly schoolgirls. Whenever I get to see him, life sorta seems to disappear and there’s only the now and present.

 

He makes me feel worthy to be liked and possibly more, that I’m only just being too hard on myself, when honestly, I would just feel ashamed of myself because I’ve never been that worthy person. I went through all my life being told by other people that I would never fit in, never be good enough. My mother tried to convince me otherwise, but it’s hard to realize that.

 

This person could be going out with someone so much better than I, and yet here we are, going out together.

Happiness aside, I’m not really sure how to explain it, really. This person listens to what I have to say, and I listen to what he has to say. He opens the doors for me. He’s so respectful that sometimes I have to remind myself that there are still guys out there that care. It’s almost really foreign to me. LOL.

 

We have a bit of interests and a bit of differences. In all honesty, I feel it balances everything out, and I like that. When we’re talking to each other, there’s so much eye contact, and especially since I really like his eyes, I really enjoy that.

 

So, I realize I’m being really cheesy. I can’t help it. Amazing person = Amazing thoughts. I’m always afraid and I’ll think to myself ‘what if I mess all of this up?’ ‘what if I say the wrong thing, offend him or come off too forward?’

 

I mean, my mouth has no stupid filter when I’m really comfortable around somebody (meaning I’m totally random and not shy). Seriously. And it’s like, when I’m around him, I’m very comfortable (yet sorta still on my toes) and I just say things that I want. No, I don’t curse or anything like that around him, by not having a filter, I just, sometimes I think that I might just overshare something one day and this all would blow up in my face.

 

Obviously, when you’re going out with somebody and they’re trying to get to know you, they want you to be yourself and not someone you make up. But, still, there’s… boundaries to that.

 

Personally, I have boundaries, but at the same time, I don’t.

 

Honestly, I’m a little nervous about posting this, in case he actually reads my blog and thinks this is entirely dumb. I have a feeling that he won’t, but whatever. A part of me will always feel cautious around anybody.

 

I have so much more to say about this awesome person, but I won’t give away everything just yet. 😉

 

Until next time.

XO,

Ellie

If you’re just now following me….!

Hey y’all! 

If you’re just now following me, I’ve re-amped my ‘Where Am I’ tab, under ‘About Ellie Mae’. 

I’ve added my Official (Yes, Official) links such as; Youtube, Facebook Page, Google+, and Fanfiction account. 

My youtube, google+ and Facebook page is brand spankin’ new! So, check out the linksss!

https://elliemae21.wordpress.com/where-am-i/

❤XO

Ellie.

What I’ve been doing – (While away from WordPress…)

Hello All! – 

Yes, it’s me. Again. I realize my blog was thrown for a loop. Here I am, posting every day it seems, then I go what, almost two weeks without? Yeah, Life happened. Well, it always happens, but Reality caught up. As much as I don’t recognize “Reality”, it did. My views on Reality, is that when you finally see Reality and live in it, you’re no longer you. 

It sounds ubber confusing, I know, I know. It’s just, a lot of my family used to be Happy. Until they focused on the crappy reality, and now, they’re either depressed and alcoholics, workaholics, rude and angry, just to name a few emotions. Yeah, I start worrying on how I’m gonna pay for my college education (btw, I graduate in 2 Semesters!), and everybody always says that $10,000 is not a lot of money. Hello! I’ve never SEEN $10,000 in my LIFE. Never. And now, that debit is in MY name. Don’t even ask me about the Department of Education. 

Cause I’ll rip that entire thing to shreds. Freakin’ rip it. 

Anyways – 
Reality = Bad. Don’t focus on Reality. You become this weird angry person. Unless it’s your cuppa tea. 

JingleBells, JingleBells, JingleAllTheWay…….

Sorry, I needed a random break-line. Cute song. 

While away from WordPress, I have; 

  • Participated in Halloween festivities by Dressing up and LARPing. (Sorta.)
  • Have watched Felicia Day’s episode of ‘Supernatural – 9×04 “Slumber Party”
    One Word – “Ding Dong, Bitches.”
  • Recently gotten back into WoW. For the non-nerds who don’t understand… World of Warcraft. Please. Get into it. Addicting. (Well, so is STO [Star Trek Online]…) Felicia Day even plays. Word.
  • Gone through insane Auditions and a couple productions
  • Studied a dissected frog. Poor thing. 
  • Put together like 2 presentations on Criminalistics I topics. (Hair and Fiber Examinations and Typed Document Examinations. Go me!)
  • Lost another Mother. She was like, my other mother growing up. Technically, she’s one of my BFF’s Mom’s, but hey, her parents became my other parents. I went to her showing on Thursday night, but since her death, I’ve been thrown for a complete loop. ♥ Rest in Peace; Diana Sue Hayes Cline.♥ 
  • Geek-ed out with BlizzCon2013. Check out http://www.WorldofWarcraft.com or more info. (Of course, it was a virtual Live! thing for me. I’m hoping for SupernaturalCon, and ComicCon in a year or two. Who’s been to any Cons? Comment and tell me YOUR experience. 🙂
  • Made my own CoffeeExpresso milkshake to my brothers’ Chicken Enchilada’s. Yummy on both behalf’s. See a post coming soon for recipes. 
  • AND – I’ve been drawing up Ideas for my own Webshow, hosted by me! Also, of course, featuring my amazing friends, and hopefully some other awesome people. :3

 

Wowee. A lot, right? What have you all been up to in the meantime?

 

XO. Ellie-Mae

Hey Y’all! New Updates! :3

Hey guys! Sorry for the Lack-of posts. But, I’ll be updating more. Promise. Just had a road-block of things come my way lately.

Anyways. I’ve changed up my Blog a bit. Hope you guys like the changes. 🙂

I’ve also added Sub-Menu Pages titled ‘About Ellie Mae’, ‘My Favorite Hotspots’, and ‘Where Am I?’. I’ll be making them better over the next few days, and adding more pages, so keep checking back, and I’ll also post an updated post. 🙂

 

Hope all is well! I would LOVE to hear from you guys!

 

XO.

Ellie-Mae.